Eva's 3 year old heart song

I have always had a sort of "song in my heart" for particular times in life. You know how you can hear a song and it remind you of a time and place or a love or loss. Well, this is one of those songs. I hope I can get it on here for you to listen to. I sang the chorus of this song while Eva was in the womb. It was my lullaby to her. I have sang it to her on and off ever since. Well, she now knows the words and it has become her heart song too for this 3 year old season of her life.  Today as Ryan was pumping gas after church, Eva sat in the back playing with the paper she had made at church and sang the chorus perfectly. I sat in sweet silence and cherished the moment.  I know it was written for a man's wife but when I look in my daughters eyes at night and we sing it back and forth to each other...this song takes on a whole new meaning of a sweet love between mama and babies. Take a listen! and by the way. I have purchased this album years ago and it is a great album. One of my all time favorites!
http://markmathis.bandcamp.com/track/your-eyes

 The chorus lyrics:
oh your eyes are my place to hide
when the world is closing in on me
you were right when you said that i'd
be needing you - if you only knew how much

Walmart and my Daddy

Today when Ryan got home from work,  I left and went to go do our grocery shopping. I had worked on the list all day and went to what felt like at least 37 grocery stores to chase the sales and also to find all the ingredients to start making my own laundry detergent. I for one,  have always snickered at those who made their own things like that. Kind if like the "bread makers" and "canners" of the world. If it's in a store and it's cheap, why go to all that trouble??. But, as I have done my calculations, it is going to be considerably cheaper to make my own. Plus, it makes me feel incredibly domestic and all humor aside I really want to be a good steward with what God has given us and this is one simple way I can stretch our pennies! And before you quit reading due to boredom, my post is not about the soap I will use to clean our panties. That is just a tid bit I am super excited about.  It is a little deeper than that today. So, like I was saying today I got to go on vacation by myself..oops..I mean, shopping by myself .(Sorry, shopping with kids is so hard so when I get to go by myself, it may as well be vacation!) So, let me get to the freakin' point. As I shopped today by myself, I got to meander and look around at people, my list, and I had time to slow down and think. Walmart. It is a grungy place. A place of many gross things, many women wearing thongs that shouldn't..many spills in the floor that look too much like poop or throw up...many smelly and rude people hocking loogies everywhere.... However, a necessary evil in my economic condition and I am today thankful for Walmart. My mom passed away about 15 years ago and my dad passed away almost 3 years ago. I have a lot of memories at Walmart, believe it or not, with both my parents actually. Today I was reminded of a couple I would like to share. Now, this first one is hilarious so hold on. And yes, half way thru it you will say.."I can't believe she is writing about this". But oh yes..I am...And many of you know this story and it will forever go down as a most embarrassing moment in my life. When I was about 15, I was in a "fashion show" at our local mall with my friend Pam. It was a Sunday afternoon and I had had a stomach virus the week before. So, we were pulling into the mall that had a Walmart attached to it. Super excited to be in the fashion show and wear fun clothes and be the center of attention. Also, one of my other pass times. So, we pull in and like I said..the stomach virus was on the way out and I thought I was over it. Well, I had to pass a little gas. .  my stomach was hurting so bad and fortunately we were in my mama's car with leather seats b/c it wasn't just a little gas. It was the real deal. The "rocky mountain quick step" "the scoots", the "chocolate faucet", "smooth move exlax". It was all there. Right in my pants. So, I told my mama I had "shat" my pants and she just about cursed me out. So, we all pull into walmart and I waddle in trying for it not to run down my leg and we go to the bathroom and my friend Pam and I just stand there and laugh (if I recall correctly) while my sweet mama...rest her soul...when and got me some more "hanes her way". and some new pants. I threw all my lower half garments away and cleaned up and when to the mall to give a real "crappy" fashion show performance. So, forever Walmart will make me think of my mama in that sense.
On a deeper note though. Today as I was shopping, I noticed several daughters with their older parents or just their dad shopping. Some in an electric wheel chair like my dad used to have to drive thru walmart and it reminded me of how I used to take him shopping a couple times a month and how we would laugh and fight and complain and talk as we shopped for his groceries. He loved to go grocery shopping and get his pantry full. It made him feel like he had arrived and that somehow, if you had food in the house, you would survive the throws of life. A skinny man his whole life but that man  could devour a pound of sausage in an instant. Probably contributed to his death to be real frank. I watched it and I remember how sometimes it was a burden to go pick him up, make his list , take him shopping, load and unload and put away his groceries. It was very tiresome. But I believe I recognized it then and I know I recognize it now how special that season of my life was. To be able to serve my dad in the simple ways like taking him grocery shopping and have fun conversations with him. Some of the hardest times I have laughed is with my dad and Ryan at the grocery store. So as I watched the few daughter/dad shoppers today, it made me long for my daddy and miss our relationship but it also made me thankful that I had that time with him. Its simple really but very precious. I also know that God's plans for my life are perfect. Though they don't feel that way sometimes. Taking my mom when I was only 20. Then taking my dad when I was 32. But had my dad not been disabled, and had my mom not passed away first, I may have never gotten to know and love and befriend and serve my daddy in the way I was blessed to have done so. I am in no way saying I am thankful that my mom died early or that my dad was disabled and needed a lot of assistance. But I am thankful that in those things, God worked in my relationships, in my heart and in my life and a lot of it was done while shopping at walmart with my daddy.

"we be bloggin' we be bloggin yeah"

In the words of Justin Bieber.."never say never". I said I wouldn't do it. But I did. I am blogging. You got it. I have always thought blogs to be a little.."hey, look at me" ish. Like you are posting things that of course the whole world would want to read. (sarcasm toned) Maybe even a little arrogant but ya know. Today, peer pressure took over. All my friends are doing it so why shouldn't I. Besides, I have found that I have too much to say to just be quiet. Too much fun stuff happens around here not to share. 

So with that I would like to leave you with a short story of how my day began. If yousaw it on facebook, this is the more detailed version. Sorry to share twice. I know it's not the most amazing story but since it happened the same day I decided to start blogging, well, you have to suffer through. See what I mean. Blogs are very self centered.  
Anyhoo...Ryan left for work after taking our car to the shop to have the air fixed. I went to pee and take a shower. Turned the water on. Disrobed. And was peeing when of course my Eva had to do the same. I can never do anything in the bathroom w/out and audience. So, as she was needing to be "cleansed", the phone rings and it is Ryan of course. I thought.."does he really need to call me to tell me he loves me AGAIN?" I know. I know. we are so lovey dovey. HA. Well, he had cranked his truck when low and behold there was a fat cat in the engine and it shreaked and hair went flying everywhere. Can I say again, I detest and despise these little Rats people call pets and this hatred was fueled today. Well, hair starts flying out from under the truck and Ryan in the spirit of a true animal activist says "well, he's dead..let's go to work" and then tries to put the truck in drive and it's a no go. Some belts have come unhooked or something so...we had to call the dealership and get him another shuttle back to work and he had to really suffer thru eating out for lunch and a friend is coming over to help me get him home tonight. So, it has all worked out.  And though now the truck is broken, we can praise the Lord that the cat didn't live. That is the silver lining. Just kidding. I don't know if he died or not. He was able to walk to the bushes and we lost track from there. I do feel sorry for the poor delusional child that has him as pet somewhere and looked for him all day. I blame his parents. They should have never given him such a dumb animal as a pet. ha.

Anyhoo..on a brighter note. My kids have been especially cuddly and sweet and helpful today. I am blessed beyond measure to have them, my husband and to be surrounded by friends willing to help us!  With that. I leave you with a pic of what is left of Satan the cat.