I got a ticket for speeding a couple months ago. I thought it was stupid and I totally didn't agree with how fast he said I was going. I told him that when he wrote the ticket AT 4:30 A.M and he only wrote it for 9 above the limit. "9 you're fine and 10 you're mine". Apparently he has heard the saying too.
So my court date arrived yesterday and I want to start by saying that I made it through the day with no cursing, no bad attitudes seen to the public eye and with being very patient with my kids. I gave those fruits of the spirit and real workout. So, I loaded the kids and a double stroller and lots of noise makers in the car... and headed to Raleigh. The police officer told me they would drop the charges but I would most likely have to pay court costs...190.00 of the 215 total ticket. REALLY PEOPLE!!!???? But I was still going up in the piece to try to save a little money! I also decided that by golly, I am taking ALL my kids (only 2) but that I wouldn't feed them before we went so they would be rowdy! Gonna get my monies worth! Side note: I fed my kids. Calm down and put the phone down. No need to call social services here.
So, our journey began with a driving tour of downtown raleigh with my Eva nagging me about parking..let's park there. Park here mama. "Eva, I can't just park in the middle of the road and besides, I am going the wrong way down a one way street..do you want me to get another ticket?" Due to construction, this went on for about 20 minutes. Not the wrong way stuff...the nagging... I needed a regular parking spot due to the double stroller. So, I finally found a parking deck about 3/4 of a mile from the courthouse. So, I took it. I thought.."oh good, I can park in the shade so that the car won't get hot. The kids will get to ride an elevator. This is good." So, we get out, I load the kids in the stroller, load all the coloring books, snacks and toys, make sure my car is secure and we start walking to the elevator. Wait, where's the elevator? Over here? no. Over there? no. "excuse me sir, where is the elevator?" "We don't have one in this parking deck" . Oh and by the way...the parking deck was full except on the 4th level, in the sun, almost to the top. MKAY?! So, I walked down the parking deck...around each level...secretly wanting to kick the signs for "reserved parking" for all the public officials...so maybe the fruits of the spirt took a break for a moment...kill me...I was also planning my heart attack for when I had to push 70 pounds of kids in a double stroller back UP on the way back. And the parking attendant was a real joy. I am sure he gets asked all the time..."do you take debit/credit?" but did you have to look at me like I have 4 heads and could you do something besides grunt? Maybe make a sign to tell people you take it..You have a TV, air conditioned booth and I saw that padded chair you are sitting in sir..I guarantee it is softer than my bed...which I have spent at least 6 hours in this entire week so...would a "YES" answer kill you????? So, as you can tell, we are off to a brilliant start.
I really do love the city. I love the sounds of construction, people buzzing about, the dirty water dog stand on the corner, I love it all! So the walk to the courthouse was pleasant. Showing the kids the buildings and such. So, I see the courthouse and we go in. Double strollers through double entry ways..well, it's a talent that is very unrecognized! We go through security. I find the sign for the courtroom # on my ticket but something's not right. So, I asked the security lady. "Where do I go for traffic tickets?" She states.."across the street. They moved buildings" So, I just knew I missed a sign or something..I did not. I checked on my way out..through the entryway with a double stroller. Oh and please if you ever see a woman with a double stroller or any stroller for that matter maneuvering through a doorway...she definitely WANTS you to stand there holding your starbucks coffee and watch her struggle. She lives for it.
Now, we get to the right building. New fun building. Lots of marble and bow tied men running around looking official. We go through security. I don't mind security. The security lady calls over a police officer to look over the stroller to make sure it's safe...I told the police officer.."I am sure it's safe..but what's in it is not." I was referring to my kids sir. Can't you take a joke!!????!!!!!
I finally found the courtroom...after playing bumper cars with every room and doorway in the place. Since they had changed buildings, none of the room numbers lined up so, there wasn't any clear direction as to where I should ACTUALLY be! So, I found it..Went in and to my surprise...there was a REAL ROBED Judge and a real courtroom..Matlock style and all. So, I "signed in" and I was behind about 40 or 50 people. I sent the secret message to my kids that this was THEIR TIME TO SHINE. After checking in, I said to the kids.."let's just sit here in the front row" and under my breath I said..."and let's sit about 5 feet from the DA and 8 feet from the judge" It was as if the children just knew. They really tuned it up. I kid you not, my rump did not even hit the pew for 1 min before the DA looked at me and said.."maam, what's your name?" He stopped working with the lady he was working with, processed my ticket, walked it over to the judge and BAAAAAM, 3 minutes later I was called up to YOUR HONOR himself! (For a nominal fee, you too can rent my double stroller and I will throw in two free hungry children for the afternoon so you too can get to the front of the line). I couldn't tell if the DA was being helpful b/c he understood or if he was annoyed. I don't care either!
"Mrs. Farrah Nash" the judge said. He called my name. I said, okay let's do this. "How do you plead to the charges of going 50 in a 45." I mean, did he hear himself? There are murderers, theives, drug dealers, child molesters roaming the streets and he wants to know how I plead...I honestly thought that my charges were such a joke. He should have thrown that out. But alas, I was speeding a little so I said..."well, your honor (Matlock style) I guess I plead guilty" and no lie he said..."Mrs. Nash, do you have anything to say for yourself?" I promise I just looked at him with my mouth open for a long 7 or 8 seconds (not 10 but close). Images of Perry Mason, Matlock and all the good ones went through my mind...but I remembered I had two kids and didn't need to get locked up. (except for maybe a couple hours for a good nap and some adult conversation) I said.."well, your honor, I think I have said enough" okay, pay your court fees and you're free to go.
I then proceeded to the cashier who was an absolute ray of sunshine..she too had a cushy chair and I envied her. She told me "i'm closed, you have to go upstairs to room blah blah blah." With a big sigh, I asked where the elevator was (hoping the same one that built this shiny courthouse wasn't the one that built the parking deck) and she noticed my two kids who where in rare form by now and said.."I'll just take the money" Why thank you so much for doing me this huge favor when I know it's such a sacrifice and I know it's 11:31 so it's got to be close to feeding time for you... So, she took my money..didn't get my jokes...and I had some good material here people..nothing..nada. So, then I proceeded to walk the 100 miles in 500 degree weather back to my car!
When we got to the car..I let out a huge sigh and Eva asked "mama, what are we doing? why did we go to the big buildings and again I said.."sometimes Eva, adults just have to do stupid stuff!"
Below are the real hero's of the day!
